Holiday leads to digital divorce

We recently returned from an eight day holiday in Fiji. It was a wonderful time to spend with BWM and H. Being able to relax and spend time as a family along with friends who travelled with us was absolutely fantastic. To have two other families, both with young children, gave H plenty of others to play with as well.

The act of breaking the daily routines of home was quite therapeutic in many ways and H enjoyed the opportunity to get in the pool and run bare foot on the grass. It was great to see him play ‘kick a ball’ with his mate who is nearly 2 and generally see the connection that they formed over the course of trip.

Lounging by the pool under the shade of an umbrella it was lovely to pick up a book. During the trip I read Arianna Huffington’s book Thrive that looks at our connections in the everyday world as well as our digital ones. I found the ideas she was espousing quite interesting considering the issues that I was about to face.

However, it was the lack of connection to internet and telephone which was probably the best part of the whole holiday. BWM didn’t bring her phone with her and I was to be a point of contact via phone or email for her work if there were any major issues. Upon our arrival at the resort in Fiji I checked wifi availability and saw there was 24-hour free period. I decided to ignore It for now and take it up some time later in the week.

It was about 4 days into the trip and BWM asked me if there had been any emails. I replied that I hadn’t checked but later that afternoon logged on to the wifi for 24 hours free access. After checking email (nothing there) I then browsed a few stories on the web before going into my social media.

First up was checking Facebook. I initially thought that my timeline had not updated, as it seemed to be exactly the same as when we had left Sydney. However, upon closer examination it had updated – Facebook it seemed had selected the same stuff it thought I would like, ignoring the opportunity for me to see all my friends’ posts. In many ways it was like flicking on ‘The Bold and the Beautiful’ after not having seen it for months and you find the same two characters engaged in the same pouting stare off.

I checked email and the web again the next day under my 24 hour access pass. I again checked Facebook and again found my characters from ‘The Bold’ eagerly engaged in their stare off. Twitter had at least updated and I could read some news bulletins and links to information which I enjoyed reading.

After the 24 hours of wifi I got back into finding connections with my son and my wife as well as the friends with whom we were travelling. It was great not to worry about the phone in the pocket with its instant access to seemingly everything.

Yet later in the week the siren song of addiction called again and I discovered that I could get 24 hours free wifi again. I really wanted to find out how Arsenal went and also the results of a few French and South African rugby games that involved people I know. Facebook called me again and there were all these notifications blaring at me and messages from people which I couldn’t see unless I installed Facebook Messenger and…………….that’s it – Facebook you are no longer my friend!

I deleted Facebook off my phone. I still have an account though and all these emails came through the other day from Facebook telling me all the amazing stuff I’ve been missing out on.

I’m sure I’ll miss out on a few things that my friends in all the far-flung corners of the world post. I’ve friends in Europe, New Zealand, South Africa, Great Britain, North Queensland and even the Sutherland Shire to give an incomplete list. However, I know these people are friends with whom I have a connection and will keep in contact with through old-fashioned methods of communication - like email.

It’s been a week since I got rid of Facebook off my phone and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. There have been a few times I’ve reached for my phone to look at things but I’ve stopped myself and looked at my son instead. I guess I want him to see his Dad connecting with him as much as possible, not just connecting to the phone and a world he can’t yet see and understand.

To paraphrase the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character to his wife in Total Recall, “Facebook – consider this a divorce!” Perhaps I’ll be back at some stage on the computer checking Facebook but for now I’m staying on a digital holiday I started during my physical one.

Postscript – I know it’s ironic that I’ve posted this on my Facebook page but if you want to comment on it please do so on the blog here or email me. That way I’m sure I’ll see it as I know I won’t be checking in on Facebook on my desktop quite so often.