The Nature of Nurture

I’ve said before that I’ve learnt a lot from my son in the time we’ve had together. I’ve learnt to be a better loser and winner because of him (yes, last week my rugby teams only won 1 of the 4 grades – losing 2 after the siren!). However, in watching H grow, learn and change so rapidly I sometimes question what has come naturally and what has been nurtured.

I remember leaving for work one morning (back in the day when work was a paid position with a commute) and I waved to him through the glass door. In return H’s hands went up and down rapidly like a little bird taking off – it was the beginning of learning to wave! Now he loves to wave to people as they arrive and leave, as well as to any large and noisy vehicle! He’s been nurtured in doing this because he watched BWM and myself wave to him and he copied it. We’ve been trying to teach him how to blow a kiss but that’s been completely unsuccessful. In that case we’ll stick to waving for the time being.

On the side of nurture we never taught H to smile or laugh. However, he does it all the time. Of course his first smile when he was very young could be put down to wind. In fact, one of the first laughs I ever remember could be put down to wind too. Sitting in his high chair he broke wind loudly, cracked a small smile and then started to laugh. Now before you think that he’d been copying his Dad I actually wasn’t present at this moment in time. He did this all in front of his Mum because it was at a time when I was still working.

Since he has begun to laugh he loves to join in the joke whenever someone laughs. H is infected by laughter and gets really excited whenever he hears adults or other children laughing. He figures it must be good and consequently uses it as a chance to practice his own laugh. Yesterday when he played with his 12 year old cousin he laughed and laughed simply because his cousin was laughing himself.

Is his smile and laughter natural or nurtured? Or is it perhaps part of the nature of nurture that he sees things and learns them without anyone realising? In the end, he is what he is, and as long as he’s happy then the nature of nurture can come naturally to him.