I have a confession to make. Since late
October last year I have been sneaking, more-be-it, racing off on a Tuesday and
Thursday night to the other love of my life. Yes, my wife knows all about my
other love. I’ve been going to rugby training.
I’m not playing rugby anymore - I’m a
coach. BWM tells me I’m too old to play anymore and watching the way these
young men go about it I’m gradually beginning to suspect she’s right. However,
the itch is still there and I guess being a coach is a way to help me scratch
it.
Why have I entitled this post, “It Begins”?
Simply because on Saturday the season proper starts. It’s the first round of
Sydney’s Shute Shield and the for the next 18 to 21 Saturdays I’ll be racing
off to be with my club West Harbour Pirates. I’m into my seventh season of
coaching at the club, which co-indecently is as long as I’ve known BWM. She
comes along to watch occasionally but still doesn’t understand what she calls
‘toss-ups’, ‘stacks-ons’, or when the referee (according to her) says ‘crouch,
touch, pause, grab their bits!’ She may not understand it fully but I know that
as I walk out the door she always says, “Good luck, have fun.”
This year my role at the club is Coaching
Coordinator, which means I’m not responsible for one team as a coach. I set the
week’s training programs in consultation with the coaches, help them at
training and at games and I get to watch lots of rugby. This is great as it
means some nights I can’t make training as I’m looking after H, so it works out
well.
Do you think this has made me less nervous
leading into the first round? No chance! Instead of worrying about one team,
I’m worrying about four. Will every thing be ok on Saturday? Will players be on
time? Will we follow the tactics we have planned and will we have to change
things as the match goes on because they’re not working? There are so many
questions and so much to get anxious about. At least as a player you run
yourself around the field into exhaustion. When you’re a coach you chew your
nails to the quick or find other ways to not yell out any frustrations you may
have.
Yet how does spending a day in a
testosterone charged environment, which I admit I sometimes get quite stressed
about, help me be a better dad? Last year I coached a side which didn’t perform
as well as I would have hoped. I got very frustrated and at times quite angry
(one coach pointed out to me I was better off kicking one of the medical bags
rather than a chair because they hurt your foot less). However, all those
things would melt away when I got home to see H. I learnt that I could feel
angry and frustrated but in the end it wasn’t the be all and end all of my
week. Winning (and losing) are important but so are many other things in this
world. By having this time at rugby I am able to enjoy time with adults and be
myself. For a few hours I forget about being a full time dad and I get to be a
rugby coach, which is something I love being able to do. It brings a great
balance to my week.
I know that on Saturday I’ll get anxious,
nervous, frustrated, angry and a gamut of other emotions – we might win, we
might lose. Yet at the end of the day I’ll have seen a group of young men do
the best job they can on the field and hopefully I’ve helped them to do that in
some way. I’ll head home, probably talk to my dad (who will be watching rugby
somewhere) on the phone to debrief, and arrive to be greeted by a smile from my
son who knows nothing of what I’ve been through all day. He just knows that
Dad’s home and he’s happy ready for bed so he can grow big and strong for us to
tackle another week together.
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